Solace
by wirenoose
Summary: "You've never been a bother," he says after a few seconds, "Do you understand me?"
Well, damn it, I'm in bokuaka hell right now, so I figured I'd write something real quick. I'm a huge fan of Bokuto's mood swings having dangerous lows, and also the hc that his parents are super strict and overbearing, so here's this train wreck.

* * *

It's easy enough to figure out what kind of day it's gonna be when he can actually see Bokuto at the start of the day. But on the days they don't have school, Akaashi is left to wonder. Bokuto's moods are somewhat unpredictable without an initial assessment. Good days are somewhat common, and easy to kick start if need be. But when Bokuto has bad days and Akaashi isn't there to turn them around before they get out of control, it can get a little messy.

So when his phone rings at six in the morning, Akaashi is out of bed in a heartbeat. Bokuto's never been an eloquent texter, and sometimes it's a little hard to figure out what he's saying, the early morning doesn't exactly aide in that. But Akaashi figures the gist of the message and quickly types up a reply. His parents are out, Bokuto's aren't, it's logical that Bokuto should come over but he really doesn't want the other boy to get in trouble.

Akaashi's never much liked Bokuto's parents. They're good people, hypothetically anyways, but they expect far too much from their son, and in all the wrong ways. Akaashi's own parents have extended their love to Bokuto in compensation and they never object to the older boy coming over. For that, Akaashi's entirely grateful.

He flips on his bedroom light and tidies up a little. He's pretty neat on principle but sometimes he gets home from practice late and doesn't bother picking up the handful of stray items that litter his floor. Bokuto will likely not have eaten anything the night previous, either because he forgot to or was too nervous during dinner to actually eat. The only issue Akaashi can predict is that Bokuto will be too emotionally compromised to stomach much more than tea.

Either way, Akaashi trudges downstairs, still in the throes of sleep. He'll likely need something for his nerves as well, something warm as a source of comfort before he uses Akaashi for that instead. His blanket should still be clean.

He makes sure the volume on his phone is all the way turned up, just in case Bokuto texts him again. Missing a text certainly wouldn't help anything.

As it happens, Bokuto calls.

"Uh, I- I'm on my way."

"Okay."

"I'll be there in ten minutes, maybe, I think it'll be ten minutes. But wait- I- if i'm later than ten minutes don't think-"

"It's all right," Akaashi ends the panic before it can set in.

"Right, uh, Akaashi?"

"Yes?"

"Is it all right if- can you just stay on the line? Even if we're not talking? I just wanna…"

"Of course, that's perfectly fine."

Bokuto gives a shaky sigh but says nothing, he most likely nodded in response and didn't realize. Akaashi returns to filling the tea kettle, holding the phone between his head and shoulder. He makes sure he's breathing evenly, just barely loud enough for Bokuto to hear through the receiver, and he listens carefully so he can attempt to gauge just how bad Bokuto is.

"Um, I'm walking up now," Bokuto's voice cuts through after a while and Akaashi nearly drops the cups he's holding. He prepares to reply but Bokuto hangs up.

Akaashi sets the cups on the counter and throws away the tea bags before hurrying to the door so he can open it before Bokuto starts to second guess himself. Some of the first times around, Bokuto had stood in front of the door debating with himself for ten minutes or more. Once, he almost turned around and walked home. Akaashi had to run out and gently coax him inside. That alone had taken twenty minutes.

They don't talk as Akaashi takes Bokuto's hand and guides him inside, applying a slight pressure to act as an anchor for the other boy. Bokuto is fidgety, he can't fix his eyes on any one thing for more than three seconds, and he's looking anywhere but Akaashi. It's definitely not a good day, it's just a breath on the side of bad.

Akaashi manages to carry the mugs in one hand and walks Bokuto to his room. Once there, he helps the other boy sit down on the bed, placing one of the cups in his hands.

"Thank you," Bokuto whispers, voice cracking slightly.

Akaashi sits beside him, taking a sip of tea from his own mug, silently showing Bokuto that it's okay for him to drink. It takes a few moments but Bokuto tentatively raises the cup to his lips. Akaashi smiles softly and settles a comforting hand on Bokuto's thigh.

They sit in silence for a little bit, Bokuto mirroring Akaashi whenever he sees him drink. He goes to take another sip only to find that his cup is empty. The smallest of pouts pushes at his lips and within the space of a breath, Akaashi is trading their mugs, his own is still half full and Bokuto's gaze shoots up.

"N-no, I-"

"It's okay."

Bokuto looks as though he's about to argue, his brows furrow slightly and he opens his mouth to speak. Akaashi leans forward just enough to press a kiss to his cheek.

"It's okay," he repeats quietly.

His only response is a nod, but that's fine, at least Bokuto understands what he's saying. As Bokuto goes to take another drink, Akaashi stands. He doesn't miss the jerk reaction Bokuto has to reach for him. Bokuto's face is already contorted in apology and Akaashi curses himself for being careless enough not to say anything before getting up.

"I'm just getting the blanket you like, I'm not going anywhere, I promise," he turns so he can pat Bokuto's cheek, offering up a warm smile as he moves towards the closet. He sees Bokuto nod, that's good enough.

Bokuto's blanket is in the closet, it's a worn old thing, faded red and fraying in one of the corners but it's comfortable beyond belief and it's been Bokuto's since the first time he came over. Akaashi pulls it from the shelf and returns to the quietly distraught boy on his bed, gently settling the blanket over his shoulders before kissing his forehead.

He's finished most of the tea, there's only a few sips left. Bokuto holds out the mug, hand shaking only slightly.

"Um, you finish it," he mumbles.

"Are you sure?"

"Mm."

Akaashi indulges him, finishing the tea before setting the mug on his nightstand. Bokuto curls his hands into the corners of the blanket, pulling it tighter around his shoulders. The bed dips as Akaashi climbs back on, getting comfortable against the headboard. It only takes a second for Bokuto to move to his side, wrapping his arms around Akaashi's neck, still keeping the blanket in his hands.

The sobs start out quiet and Akaashi arranges his hands so one rests in Bokuto's hair and the other is on his back. Bokuto will cry himself out after a few minutes, then they'll sit quietly until he gets fidgety and Akaashi has to reassure him that he's still okay and that 'no, you've not wasted my time, I really don't mind'.

Akaashi runs his fingers through Bokuto's hair, lightly tugging on the strands as Bokuto speaks incoherent words. It's something about his parents, from what he can figure, something about a fight the night before that totally killed all of Bokuto's positive self image. Bokuto thought about calling him but didn't because he didn't want to be a bother. At that, Akaashi's hand stills and Bokuto looks up, afraid he's said the wrong thing.

"You're never a bother," Akaashi says, bending low enough to give him another kiss.

"You always say that," Bokuto mumbles turning so his face is hidden in Akaashi's chest.

"And I always mean it."

He can tell Bokuto doesn't believe him so he gets up, quieting Bokuto's worry with a pointed look. Akaashi gently sets his palms to Bokuto's shoulders and pushes him down so he's lying back on the bed. He straddles Bokuto's stomach and wills the blush in his cheeks to go down.

At this point, Bokuto's scrunched his eyes shut, covering them with his hands as bright red embarrassment dusts his skin.

"Bokuto-san," Akaashi says, proud that his voice isn't shaking. But Bokuto isn't looking at him, still hiding behind his hands.

"Koutarou," he tries instead.

That, at least, gets Bokuto to peek through his fingers, though his blush hasn't gone down any. Akaashi smiles and moves Bokuto's hands from his face, holding them tightly.

"You've never been a bother," he says after a few seconds, "Do you understand me?"

Bokuto nods, hesitantly, and Akaashi brings their clasped hands up so he can kiss the other boy's knuckles.

"Okay, in just a moment, I'm going to get up and get a washcloth from the bathroom, for your eyes."

Akaashi waits until he's sure Bokuto won't panic before getting up. He gets a washcloth from the hallway closet and wets it with cold water in the bathroom. When he returns, he helps Bokuto sit up, then sits cross legged in front of him, dabbing the wet cloth around his eyes until the red goes away.

"You may be a little much sometimes," Akaashi says, "but you're an excellent Captain and Ace, I couldn't imagine having someone else in those positions. The team couldn't either, believe me. If Kuroo-san's excited text messages are anything to go by, you're also a wonderful friend. As far as I'm concerned, I couldn't ask for a better boyfriend. So, regardless of what your parents say, they are _wrong,_ you are talented, funny, cute, and above all, you are _cherished._ Understand?"

He's afraid he's over done it just a little bit, and he's almost entirely certain that his blush has come back. But a brilliant smile lights up Bokuto's face and he throws his arms around Akaashi's neck, sending both of them crashing down. He can feel Bokuto's chest shuddering and the first thought that comes to mind is he's somehow made Bokuto cry, but then he hears the laughter.

"You're the best, Keiji. I mean, apparently I'm pretty cool too but...thank you."

Akaashi can feel the heat from Bokuto's cheeks against his skin, and his position is a little odd, but Bokuto's weight is a comforting presence and he can't bare to ask the other boy to move. He wraps Bokuto in a hug and turns his face to press a kiss to his hair.

"Of course, Koutarou."


End file.
